


Giants

by Suitsanthings



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: <--In bold italics, Being Lost, Crying, Depressing, F/M, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Mike Ross/Rachel Zane, Out of Character, Past Relationship(s), Song Lyrics, Song fic, VERY Out of Character, trust your writer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28671828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suitsanthings/pseuds/Suitsanthings
Summary: What happens when things go wrong in Seattle? What happens to Harvey during that time?SONG FIC
Relationships: Mike Ross & Harvey Specter, Mike Ross/Harvey Specter, Mike Ross/Rachel Zane
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21





	Giants

Harvey came home, and immediately knew it was gonna be one of those evenings 

**_We used to be giants_ **

A night of remembering (missing) mike

A night of absolute loneliness and despair 

Harvey knew he should turn around right now and get laid, but this was the only way he could truly get close to Mike, without the object of his affection himself.

_**When did we stop?** _

Harvey knew when they stopped. It stopped when he lost his associate, his friend, his mentee, his right hand. God, on nights like these he felt worse than if he had his whole right arm missing.

It had been just over 4 months since Mike left for Seattle. For Andy Forsyth. For Rachel. If Harvey hadn’t been so preoccupied, maybe he could’ve shut it down. Maybe he could’ve driven Andy away. Maybe he could’ve blackmailed-

No. No use in thinking about the maybe’s. Just now. Harvey couldn’t believe how he did before Mike. Before the kid with a briefcase full off weed stumbled into his interview. Before the brilliant mind and brilliant eyes and brilliant ass swept him off-

**_Just say the word and I'll be yours_ **

He was in love. In LOVE. Harvey Specter, in love. It started festering from the first time he laid eyes on the illegal lawyer and kept growing. But Mike was always chasing one skirt after the other and never gave any indication that he wasn’t straight.

Then he went and got married. To Rachel. Wasn’t that just a big kick in the gut? Harvey hoped it wouldn’t last, that Mike would come back. And felt immediately guilty after, two people in love, who had love and a happily ever after.

> _**You know I never forgot** _

Harvey had always enjoyed their back and forth. Their quotes. It was close enough to flirting for him to hide his feelings. 

It became harder to hide on the late nights and long hours of legal words and words. But when Mike messed up, all Harvey wanted to do was wrap him in bubble wrap and lock him in his apartment to keep him safe from his own mistakes.

_**The hope and the hurt** _

_**Has lived inside of me** _

But Mike didn’t know. He didn’t realise. For every feeling of Harvey’s that too smart kid picked up on. He never picked up on the heart full of feelings reserved from him.

Harvey guessed it was out of character for him. Out of character for the ‘I don’t care’ shtick mike, Donna and Jessica always saw through.

**_But there's gold in the dirt_ **

He supposed the time they had together was something limited. It was harsh and full of vindictive lawyers and investment bankers. But they fought and destroyed and still had a god time doing it. They went through it all with movie quotes galore.

It was soothing now. It was comforting that he had some sort of mike left in his memories.

_**I never took the time to see** _

Oh, how he took it for granted then. Thought it would be forever. Thought Mike would never leave him. Thought that loyalty was a two-way street and he thought he taught him that.

Harvey shook his head. He did teach him, he did. Then he got married. Harvey sardonically chuckled and got up to change.

**_But I knew of its worth when you walked beside of me_ **

And when he finished changing and came back to sit on his sofa of misery, facing the skyline and just feeling his loneliness, he realised that he didn’t take it for granted. He treasured each and every word, every movie quote, everything.

He may not have had Mike’s photographic memory but he remembers what’s important to him.

_**And my hand fit in yours like a bird would find the breeze** _

The number of nights Harvey imagined Mike next to him. Harvey would be going down on him, making love to him. Mike’s head would be thrown back in ecstasy, his face portraying the same. Sometimes, Mike initiated things.

But some nights, Harvey fantasised that they were just sitting, side-by-side, hand-in-hand, sometimes they were leaning against each other watching reruns of Star Trek and some times they were curled up in bed with each other and just touching.

_**We used to be giants** _

_**When did we stop?** _

The answer was still glaring at him in the face. When Mike left they stopped, Harvey’s whole world stopped. Donna’s, Robert’s, Alex’s and his opposing councils lives? They didn’t stop. So Harvey adapted and he survived through the hole Mike left in his chest.

It was late. Just thinking took him to 2 in the morning. He needed to sleep. Pills it was, yet again, Harvey thought. 

He woke up the next morning and got ready on autopilot. Another day.

Harvey found it painful to go to the office these days. Everything and everyone would remind of what he lost. Harvey contemplated and continued, stopping at Donnas desk.

“Cancel all my meetings. Don’t let anyone in.”

“Harvey..”

“Please, Donna. Just do it.”

She nodded and when Harvey turned to go in his office, he could feel her eyes on his back. Harvey knew she knew what he was going through. He was slightly grateful but knew it would be a lost cause trying to bring it up.

_**Just say the word, and I’ll be yours** _

_**You know I never forgot** _

Harvey knew. He just knew that if Mike asked him to move to Seattle, to do pro-bono’s all day long with him, Harvey would’ve. He would’ve gone and left the firm. He would’ve left his position in the firm, his condo and everything. 

But he was preoccupied with HIS mentor. Jessica needed it, and he wouldn’t stop asking himself the question. What if? What if Jessica didn’t need help and Andy Forsyth came to Mike while Harvey was there? What if Harvey had the chance to give Forsyth a piece of his mind? What if Forsyth-

_**We were the song in the silence** _

They were, they really were. Harvey knew they were one of the special duos in the legal world. If nearly any other senior partner had an associate that cared as much as Mike did, the associate would be dropped faster than they could say ‘boss’ wether they were legal or not.

_**But time catches up** _

But Mike’s wedding to Rachel was inevitable. Harvey couldn’t deny that. He knew it was coming. He knew an impulsive guy like Mike would do something like that and he was with Jessica. He guessed if Donna didn’t tell them, he would’ve saved of the heartache of being Mike’s best man instead of walking down the altar with him.

But he was surprised Mike didn’t call him. That hurt more than the wedding. Mike didn’t trust him? Did he not want him to know? Did he feel like Harvey wasn’t-

_**Just say the word, and I'll be yours** _

If had given an inkling that he was anything but straight, Harvey would’ve tried, would’ve flirted with him, approached him, COURTED him even. But no, Harvey was bi and Mike was straighter than the equator.

_**You** **know I never forgot** _

Harvey could never forget the machete Mike plunged in his chest when he said he was leaving when he said he was moving to Seattle not with Harvey but with Rachel. Harvey nearly broke down there and then. But he held on, he was happy for Mike. But he definitely hugged Mike like it was the last time.

Who was he kidding? It was the last time. All his calls being ignored for the past month. His voicemails, text messages. Everything but his emails which still weren’t many but when he did get one, they were lengthy. Almost like Mike was his same puppy-like babbling self.

That put a small smile on his face. But Harvey couldn’t spend the day in his office like this. He couldn’t. Thinking and thinking of Mike.

So he left, took his briefcase and left. Donna gave him a weird look and he thankfully didn’t bump into Robert, Alex or Louis on the way.

_**I knew from the start** _

_**You'd be the one to set me free** _

He missed his old self. The one where he was superman, he could do whatever and nothing bothered him. Emotionally or mentally. And here he was missing his mentee like a missing arm. Harvey was even developing a conscious when it came to his clients and cases. Thanks to Mike he guessed, all thanks to that wayward kid with his magnificent brain along with his personality that he fell for.

_**That day in the park, when the hurt would hide from me,** _

That’s it Harvey thought. He had a nice mustang sitting in his apartments car park that was on loan from the car club for a few days. He caught a cab back to his apartment and took the mustang to a sightseeing spot.

He’d taken Mike here once, after a major victory only weeks after his grandmother's death. They took a Tesla up here and Harvey loved it. He watched Mike’s blue eyes go electrifyingly brighter and watched his brain store every building in the night.

His face was relieved of the stress he had carried those few months. But however bright his eyes were, they were still filled with hurt and longing and remorse.

It was getting late. Becoming dark. Might as well drop off the Mustang and head home.

Just as he was about to walk into his apartment’s lobby, he saw someone.

_**Those eyes used to know me, it's been way too long** _

Mike? Mike. It was. It was him. And Harvey could recognise that mop of blonde hair anywhere. He stood. Just watching Mike’s side. He couldn’t properly see his face but he knew Mike was shivering. Harvey should really approach him, but he couldn’t make his feet move.

Just as he had snapped out of his head, Mike turned and god was it a beautiful but painful sight. It was Mike and his cheeks and lips and blue eyes. But his cheeks were red, his lips were bitten and raw. His eyes? Redder than his cheeks and filled with images tears.

Barely any recognition for a second.

But Mike was there he was-

_**(You are) the moon and the stars, and all they gaze upon** _

The night was full of lights, shining on Mike’s casual grey shirt and dark blue jeans. The street lights and vehicles, creating an ever-changing pattern on his lithe body. Harvey took a step forward then a step back. Mike’s eyes were still twinkling in the light full of unshed tears.

_**Time won't ever move slowly, what you waiting on?** _

They stood staring and staring. What was wrong with them? Why weren’t they handshaking and teasing? Harvey? Make your feet move, goddamit.

Mike took the initiative, surprisingly. His eyes taking on a brighter note and his legs breaking into a run. He collided with Harvey and hugged, wrapping his arms around him and isn’t this what Harvey wanted all these years?

Wait. Was he crying?

_**Yeah, what you waiting on?** _

That stayed like that. Until Harvey unfroze, briefly hugged him back (the heat of Mike burning into his skin, raising goosebumps even when he’s fully clothed) and stepped back

“What the hell?” He started, “no calls, nothing but essayed emails?”

“Harvey. Let’s- can we go upstairs?”

“Yea. Yes, of course. Come on.”

Harvey grabbed his arm and dragged him upstairs. Pulled him into the elevator and pressed the right key.

Then he really took a good look at Mike. The overly red cheeks, red sclera. The slightly hunched over posture. Not the optimistic bouncing kid he was used to.

Harvey unlocked the door and dropped his keys on the counter. He sat Mike down and poured a scotch for both of them.

He sat down next to him and passed one on.

“You okay?”

Mike let out a sardonic laugh. It chilled Harvey to his core. “me? I’m fine. My marriage? Not so much. My job? That’s gone down the drain too.”

Harvey felt immensely guilty for rejoicing. He still had a chance. No, he didn’t. Stop it, Harvey. Mike needs you, be there for him.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No. Yes? I don’t know, Harvey” the tears pouring in earnest now, “I miss you, I miss us.”

He leaned closer and that when Harvey smelt it. He didn’t know how he missed it before but Mike smelt like weed.

Harvey stood, backed away. What should he do? Mike needed it but he broke his promise. He-he got high.

“You’re high? Goddamit Mike. What the hell? You thought you could come here... Why are you here Mike? After everything-“

“Forsyth was dirty, Harvey. Rachel cheated again, all over again. And she blamed it on me and her-“ he wrapped his arms around himself, “she was- she was....”

Mike slid off the sofa. “I’m sorry Harvey. I’m sorry. I needed to stay away from you and look where I am.” Mike was outright kneeling in front of Harvey now. “Where else could I go, Harvey? I’m sorry.”

“Kick me out, show me the door. I deserve it after all. I broke our promise and-“

_**We used to be giants** _

_**When did we stop?** _

Harvey was lost. He stood there with Mike sobbing at his feet, a mess from the life that he picked and it had chewed him and spit him out on Harvey’s floor.

“Mike...” Harvey sunk to the floor himself, “Mike, look at me.”

He looked up. 

“You’re going to take a shower. I’m going to order food. We’re going to change and everything, no, listen to me. Everything will be fine.”

He nodded.

“Good. Now, come on.”

_**Just say the word, and I'll be yours** _

Harvey blew out a breath. The water was running and the Chinese place said half an hour. What the hell did Mike mean? Rachel cheated and she was.. she was what? What had happened to Mike? What had happened to his phone? What had happened to his firm?

Forsyth was dirty. Harvey couldn’t help it, the two scotch glasses were swept off the table. god, his hand hurt. What was wrong with him? It was his responsibility to check, his responsibility to make sure Mike didn’t-

Shit, he needed to find some plasters before Mike came out. 

_**You know I never forgot** _

And while he was cleaning, (his hand, the floor and the table) he remembered. He remembered how Mike and Rachel were together. They were good, going strong. Logan Sanders was a hiccup (a big one) but Harvey had talked Mike out of (however painful it was).

_**We were the song in the silence** _

No. THEY were the music in Harvey’s silence. The ever taunting that he couldn’t pursue Mike while Rachel was in the picture.

_**But time catches up** _

But she cheated? Again? How could she betray him? Mike hadn’t done anything, hadn’t done anything but followed her to whatever she wanted, whatever she loved. He loved her with his whole heart.

_**Just say the word, and I'll be yours** _

The water stopped. 5 minutes later, Mike came out of the room dressed in Harvey’s old joggers and a Harvard t-shirt. He looked at a lot soberer too.

“Really?” He said, pulling a portion of cloth away from himself with a teasing smile. Normality only offset by his red eyes.

“Considering you never got one, I thought you might want to know what it felt like.”

“No new material then?”

“Nope.” Harvey teased, popping the p. The doorbell rang and Harvey got up to answer it.

_**You know I never forgot** _

Opening up the takeout and dishing it up together felt like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it with someone. Lightly arguing throughout dinner.

“Mhm,” Mike moaned. Harvey nearly choked. “The same restaurant as always. Remember Ava Hessigton and nearly every other lawsuit.”

They chuckled. Then came a pause in their conversation. Harvey knew it was time, Mike knew too.

_**Darlin' (I still love you though)** _

Harvey loved Mike. And he needed to remember that. He couldn’t hurt him, but it was inevitable with the conversation they were about to have.

Start easy, Harvey “What happened to your phone?”

“An argument, what else? Rachel was worked up because I kept blaming Forsyth for things that it turned out he was actually doing”

“He pulled the wool over my eyes for so long. The settlements me and the others won? Not much actually went to the plaintiffs and Rachel. Rachel just stood there defending the man.”

Start easy Harvey, yeah, way to go. He moved closer to Mike. Offering stability, comfort?

_**Just say you will (I love you though)** _

“2 weeks later I find Rachel and Forsyth on my desk...” He paused and took in a deep shuddering breath, “No wonder she was defending him.”

“I filed for a divorce the same day the officials came and said Forsyth was dirty. They didn’t have any proof so they had to let him go, but I looked into it. They were right, I was right.”

“God knows how Rachel did it. She got the papers, signed them, left me them to sign-“ Another shuddering breath.

Harvey moved even closer. Now sitting joined from shoulder to thigh, Mike leaned his head towards Harvey.

“No-one can find them. They disappeared off the face of the earth.” He turned to Harvey, “And to know... I don’t even care, Rachel can go gallivanting off with whoever she wants, I just-just”

Harvey knew. Harvey knew he was hiding something but could he press till it hurts like he used to?

_**Will you remember those times? (I still love you though)** _

“You said you argued, and you said she was-“

Mike shook his head. “God, Harvey. Nothing gets past you does it?”

“She was right. She said I loved someone else and that she would never have my full attention.” 

Full attention, right, Rachel was right? What? Harvey couldn’t. He began to pull away.

Mike gripped him and met his eyes. “No! No, Harvey. I didn’t! I swear I didn’t cheat on her!”

Harvey eased back, Mike needed him, he couldn’t let his own issues, insecurities and feelings get in the way.

_**That I have held until (I still love you though)** _

_**Tonight (I still love you though)** _

“Who is she?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

Mike gave him a look. “He, Harvey. Here, in New York. But he doesn’t know, he doesn’t feel the same way. He doesn’t ...” Harvey opened his mouth, “No, I know he won’t and it’s my burden to bear and I’m dealing with it. It’s just not...”

“Who?” 

Mike stood up. Harvey missed the warmth while he was preparing for what Mike was about to say, what he was about to rip him to shreds with.

“Don’t act like you don’t know!”

Harvey was at a loss. Someone he knew, someone at the office? Another associate? Louis? Nah. Alex? The other paralegal-

“You could at least try to let me down gently Harvey.”

No. Suddenly all the pieces fit together to form a different picture, a completely different picture. Him. Mike loved him! By the time he had figured it out, Mike already had his jacket on and was heading for the door.

_**If you say you will (I still love you though)** _

“Thanks for the din-“

Mike was pushed against the wall, his mouth being covered by Harvey’s. It was soft and sweet and innocent. Then Mike came to his senses and moaned while licking against Harvey’s lips, demanding entry.

_**I'll leave it all behind (I still love you though)** _

And who was Harvey to refuse? 

Once the need for air became too much to resist, they broke apart, breathing heavily, foreheads touching.

“Do you even...? How long?” Mike begged. “Ever? Because please Harvey this can’t be a pity-“

_**Don’t you remember those times? (I still love you though)** _

Harvey touched his index finger to Mike’s lips. “Since the day you walked into the interview, ever since then. Ever since Jenny and Rachel and...”

Mike started crying. No. Nononono. Harvey you shmuck. What did you do? 

_**We used to be giants** _

_**So when did we stop?** _

He gently wiped away the tears, gently took off Mike’s coat and led him to the bedroom. Sat him down on the bed and kneeled in front of him.

“Mike? Mike, I-“

_**Just say the word, and I'll be yours** _

“I love you. I love you Harvey and you- You...”

_**You know I never forgot** _

Harvey thought back, thought back to when Mike was freshly hired, then how he grew to become the lawyer that defended and protected, both the good and the bad. 

**_We were the song in the silence_ **

**_But time catches up_ **

How they would approach the same thing, nearly read each other’s mind. Solve every mystery, close every case.

He was brought out of his musings by Mike’s lips on his again, but this time, with Mike unbuttoning Harvey’s shirt. 

Harvey pulled away. It pained him to do so but he did. “No Mike, not tonight. You’ve been through...”

_**Just say the word, and I'll be yours** _

“All these years... All these years I never allowed myself to come too close, to go too far thinking I would’ve been another one-night-stand. Another person you brought home then kicked out, I wished, I wish-“

_**You know I never forgot** _

“Tomorrow, Mike.”

He nodded, and Harvey led him to the en-suite to get ready for bed.

_**We used to be giants (I still love you though)** _

They still were, Harvey thought as they settled into bed, facing each other. They really were. Because no matter what they found their way back to each other in their time of need.

_**Giants (I still love you though)** _

“I love you, Mike”

“I love you too, Harvey”

Always back to each other.

* * *

_**Oh, I still love you though** _

Harvey came home, and immediately knew it was gonna be one of those evenings.

An evening filled with love.

A lifetime filled with belonging.

“You there?”

“In here, babe”

Harvey walked into the kitchen to find Mike glaring at the boiling pot. Harvey walked over and settled behind him.

“Watch pots never boil, Mike”

Mike spun and looped his arms around his lovers back, the cold metal of his wedding ring scraping Harvey’s neck. A complimentary ring to the one Harvey was wearing.

They kissed to the sound of bubbling water.

_**I still love you though** _

**Author's Note:**

> So the song is  
> Giants by Dermot Kennedy.
> 
> I hoped you liked it, I think I got a bit off track near the end lol. Thanks for reading! Pls comment!!!


End file.
